So, About Last December...

He called me impossible,
He said a beauty like me
Can't bloom in the December cold.
He said I was a rare type of rose,
But he picked me before I was grown,
From the dirt that surrounded my toes.
And I smiled, so eager to go,
So desperately wanting to know,
What it felt like to be loved.

On the surface,
Everything had been changed.
But I was nervous,
'Cause inside, I was the same.
I was desperate to prove that I could love,
After all the heartless things I had done.
I was desperate to feel good enough,
No one ever wanted me before he showed up.
But I was using his love
To help me be seen,
While he scaled the walls I put up;
I made it so easy.

I swear that next time,
I won't be so blind.

I called him impossible,
I said I was undeserving
Of this boy's pure and honest soul.
I said I fell head over heels,
But my mind screamed "This love isn't real.
Stop admitting to things that you don't even feel."
And he smiled, so eager to take
The innocence that still remained,
Until it hurt to be loved.

On the surface,
Everything had been changed.
But I was nervous,
'Cause inside, I was the same.
I was desperate to prove that I could love,
After all the heartless things I had done.
And he knew my desperation was enough,
To make me trust the first boy that showed up.
But I was using his love
To help me be seen,
And he scaled the walls I put up;

And I made it so easy,
It almost isn't fair.
Funny how sad it made me,
To lose something that was never there.
How can I blame his deceit,
On my new insecurities?
It's not fair that I was weak,
It's not fair that I still speak,
When I did the same exact thing.

On the surface,
Everything had been changed.
But I was nervous,
'Cause inside, I was the same.
I was desperate to prove that I could love,
After all the heartless things I had done.
But as heartless goes, that was enough,
To declare that this time, I really screwed up.
I was using his love
To help me be seen,
He scaled the walls I put up;
I made it so easy.

I was using his love
To help me be seen.
But what I didn't know then was
He was using me…
(And I made it so easy)